Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Purple Bellybuttons

Have you ever seen the movie "Monster-in-law?" There are moments in the movie where the characters have thoughts of what they would really like to do in the situation and then those actions are acted out in their head. And then it flashes to what the characters actually do in the situation. They would never dream of acting out what really happens in their minds, but what it really depicts is we all have things that go on inside of our heads that we can't act upon simply because it isn't appropriate in society. I had such a moment this week...

Since my little student told me she was going to get an abortion, I have been dreading February 20th. I knew it was the day, but did everything I could to get it out of my mind. Monday night, she approached me and said this exact phrase, "Well, I took care of my little problem but now my belly button is purple. Do you know why?" You took care of your problem?? So, this is what I imagined doing in my head...I could see myself ripping her hair out, screaming into her face about my issues and hitting her endlessly. I am NOT a violent person, so this inside my head scared me a bit. It took every once of my energy at that moment in time to stand there and not run for the sanctuary of one of my fellow teachers. But instead of acting out my thoughts, I just stood there, looked at her belly button and told her I had NO clue as to why it would happen.

I am a bodyworker and a teacher and with those two titles come certain obligations such as professionalism, compassion, love for everyone. I am going to have to really work on loving this student for who she is and not her actions. I know she made the decision that was right for her in the moment, but it doesn't make it any easier!

4 comments:

  1. Ouch, you are a better person than I am. I would have begged for her baby and I just might have kidnapped her just so she would miss her "appointment". How can she be so casual about it? I am so sorry you had deal with this. If only we could have the same "problem"!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so sorry for your Brandy. That is absolutely horrible to go through for you. Hang in there. Maybe sometime there will be a time that you can talk to her. I know it's hard especially when then there's all these reminders. Stay strong, -k- Love you girl,

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry that she had to do that to you. It breaks my heart that you are going through this. I pray that you will get to hold a baby of your own in the near future.

    ReplyDelete