There is a multi-billion dollar industry out there that nearly every woman buys into at one point or another in her life. Some women are thrilled and excited about this buy-in while others are left devastated, hurt and broken because of this one little product. Some buy it discreetly, buying other unnecessary items to hide this particular one. Others have their friends purchase it so as not to be embarrassed, or they are just scared whatever the outcome will be. I'm not sure there are many men who go out searching for this product. I can see them standing in front of the many different choices, realizing what a daunting task lies in front of them.
Such is the story of a home pregnancy test. I fell slave to one of these again this week. I'm not sure why I torture myself so, but I was feeling all of the symptoms. No, I wasn't late, but I was nauseous, I almost threw up when I walked into the classroom because of all the smells my nose caught wind of, and I just overall didn't feel well. I thought, okay...I'm going to run to the store on lunch and test in the bathroom. I did. I drove as quickly as I could, ran inside (bought a salad so it wasn't the only thing in my hand when I checked out) and went back to the school. I hid inside my "favorite stall" and peed on the stick. I pretty much knew the results before I took the test, but a small, mustard size seed of hope was in the very back of my heart. I couldn't help but think of all the students who had been in the same situation I was in this bathroom, waiting for results, waiting to see how their lives would be changed. Alas, one line. Not pregnant. I didn't really feel anything, but almost immediately, I physically felt better.
It is such a strange thing. One little stick, a small amount of urine one a stick, can change your life forever. I don't really feel changed. I have been through the disappointment many, many times before. But I guess I just continue to wait. I am getting better at gaining some hope. My husband continues to pray and hold me and let me know that there is a grander plan, one that I cannot even fathom right now. The package had two in it, so if you need one, you can call me! :)