I have been working with the same company (Utah College of Massage Therapy Family of Schools) for five years in July. I really love my job tremendously! I enjoy everyone I work with and it is so much like a family. I love being challenged and I love sharing my passion of massage with everyone that enrolls into the program. However, in my nearly five years of teaching, have my morals and ethics been challenged than they were Tuesday night. About two weeks ago, one of my little students told me she was pretty sure she was pregnant, but had a doctor's appointment later in the week to confirm. She was completely devastated because the pregnancy could possibly be the result of an affair she had with her boyfriend, so she wasn't sure who it belonged to. I asked her what she thought her options were. The only thing she could speak was abortion. My toes curled inside my shoes and I know my eyebrows went straight up to my forehead. I calmly told her that there were plenty of more options. I mentioned the thousands of women out there who would love to have a baby, but can't have one (I wanted to say, and one is sitting RIGHT across from you!!) There are programs that will pay for you to live and not work if only you would give up your baby a chance to live with a loving family and give it up for adoption. Our conversation turned back to her heartache of maybe losing her boyfriend over her affair. The unborn baby was never mentioned again.
I checked in with her Tuesday night to she if she had results. She said indeed, she was pregnant. I explained that policy stated she had to lie on her left side until she delivered her baby. (it best supports blood flow to the fetus). She told me she thought it was stupid for her to do this because she already had the abortion scheduled later this month. You would have thought someone had shot me in the head. I wanted to wring her neck, and kick her very hard in the shins, but I knew I had to keep my cool. So, after questioning me about policy, and whining as students do sometimes, she laid on her left side and complained about it the entire time!
I went to a fellow instructor and just cried. And when I was done crying, I locked myself in a room, sat in a corner, and ate chocolate for awhile to try and dull the pain. Now the real trial begins: loving her despite her decision. And Christ loved the sinners, but not the sin. This could be the biggest ethical and moral dilemma I have had to face yet.