Thursday, February 5, 2009

Ethical Dilemma

I have been working with the same company (Utah College of Massage Therapy Family of Schools) for five years in July. I really love my job tremendously! I enjoy everyone I work with and it is so much like a family. I love being challenged and I love sharing my passion of massage with everyone that enrolls into the program. However, in my nearly five years of teaching, have my morals and ethics been challenged than they were Tuesday night. About two weeks ago, one of my little students told me she was pretty sure she was pregnant, but had a doctor's appointment later in the week to confirm. She was completely devastated because the pregnancy could possibly be the result of an affair she had with her boyfriend, so she wasn't sure who it belonged to. I asked her what she thought her options were. The only thing she could speak was abortion. My toes curled inside my shoes and I know my eyebrows went straight up to my forehead. I calmly told her that there were plenty of more options. I mentioned the thousands of women out there who would love to have a baby, but can't have one (I wanted to say, and one is sitting RIGHT across from you!!) There are programs that will pay for you to live and not work if only you would give up your baby a chance to live with a loving family and give it up for adoption. Our conversation turned back to her heartache of maybe losing her boyfriend over her affair. The unborn baby was never mentioned again.

I checked in with her Tuesday night to she if she had results. She said indeed, she was pregnant. I explained that policy stated she had to lie on her left side until she delivered her baby. (it best supports blood flow to the fetus). She told me she thought it was stupid for her to do this because she already had the abortion scheduled later this month. You would have thought someone had shot me in the head. I wanted to wring her neck, and kick her very hard in the shins, but I knew I had to keep my cool. So, after questioning me about policy, and whining as students do sometimes, she laid on her left side and complained about it the entire time!

I went to a fellow instructor and just cried. And when I was done crying, I locked myself in a room, sat in a corner, and ate chocolate for awhile to try and dull the pain. Now the real trial begins: loving her despite her decision. And Christ loved the sinners, but not the sin. This could be the biggest ethical and moral dilemma I have had to face yet.

7 comments:

  1. What a hard situation! Abortion just seems to be one of those thing we can never understand. I think you were brave to have the conversation you had with, but she does have her free agency. I wish I had some encouraging words, but I have not idea what to say to help you, but to pray for the love that Christ has for her! And PS I found an amazing website that you should check out. It is by the national infertility association www.resolve.org It has great information about how to cope with infertility and about the testing and procedures that can help you get pregnant. Check it out! It really helped us

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  2. You are an amazing woman and I commend you for NOT kicking her in the shins. We love you and pray for you!

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  3. I am sorry you had to face that. I dealt with the same thing a month ago...I almost gave into the idea of beating the person. You are an amazing person. You have taught me so much and continue to teach me...even long distance! Love and miss you.

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  4. Hang in there. I would have been very close to kicking her in the shins too. I think I would have tried to shake her until she finally understood. No one truly knows how infertility feels until you've been through it yourself. My husband and I have been married 6 years and still have yet to have children. I try to be good about it but when I hold or see a newborn baby, I really have a hard time. Hang in there... The Lord truly does have a plan for you and me even if only just beyond the clouds.

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  5. Wow...I just...what if the baby belonged to her boyfriend and not the affair? I don't know how you kept your cool-I think if it were me, I'd immediately start crying. I just can't even imagine how hard that was on you.

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  6. Oh Brandy. You really got me with this post... Sin is sooo selfish. How very, very hard for you. I'm amazed that there is a person in this world, YOU, who could come through that with such a Christlike attitude. I MIGHT have EVENTUALLY arrived at that same attitude AFTER a good shin kicking. You are a powerful woman. The Lord loves you so so much. Of course, I suspect you know that already. :)

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