Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Duggars

I have always been a fan of the Duggar family since they came out with their first show, 16 kids and Counting. I just watched their final show of their season of 19 Kids and Counting and I cried.  Not like the Julia Roberts, wipe a tear and be good cry, but the all out bawl my eyes out, unsightly mabeline lines all over my face, snot dripping....yup, one of those cries.  Michelle was pregnant with her 20th child.  When she went in for her 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, the tech couldn't find a heartbeat.  It was devastating for the entire family.  What Michelle kept saying really hit home with me, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, blessed be the name of the Lord."  God has given me a precious, beautiful spirit in that of my Tiny Baby.  And I know the Lord could take him away when he sees fit.  I only hope and pray that I need him more on this side of the veil than God needs him on the other side. 

But what really struck me, more today than it has before, is I will be a mother to many children, whether it is now or later, whether it is here or on the other side.  Please understand, this doesn't necessarily make it any easier when I go to the zoo and everyone (and everything including every animal) is swollen with a belly but it gives me a bit of perspective.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh....

I wish I was a more elequant writer.  I wish that I could beautifully put down how I am feeling or thinking. But my tears are an expression of my thoughts.  My tears express volumes.....

2 comments:

  1. I saw the end of that same episode and my heart just broke. I can't imagine burying a child. It really made me stop and be thankful for what I have. Things may be difficult and quite painful at times but I am so thankful for my little miracle. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be a mother to one.

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