Sunday, March 18, 2012

It's happening again

Disclaimer:
I have been worried about writing about my secondary infertility because of the looks or the comments I may receive.  "But you have a child.  That is more than some women will ever hope to have." And ya know what, you are right.  I am not being selfish.  I am ever so grateful for the AMAZING blessing of my sweet little boy.  I promised Heavenly Father that I would never take him for granted and I DON'T, but at the end of the day, this is my blog and I can freely write about how I am feeling. If  you read my main blog you would know that I don't take a moment for granted! There....now onto the post...

I went to church today.  I love church!  I love church because of the amazing ward I am in.  They are so supportive.  They are all so kind.  But my ward is full of young, spunky PREGNANT women.  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE them dearly!  I know several of them have struggled with getting pregnant themselves so I don't hate.  :)  It is just hard.  I am looking at the women at church and wishing it was me.  We went to the zoo yesterday and you know what I noticed?  All of the pregnant women!  *sigh*  I am nearly 30 (wow...I said it, it must really be true!) and I really thought I would be done before I was 35.  It scares me to think we may not even have #2 before that time!  6 years.  6 years it took me to get pregnant with Tiny Baby.  When I was younger, much younger, I pictured myself with 8 children.  But times have changed.  I think about my family and I see, dream, of 3 little boys.  3 perfect little boys.  But if I only get 1, gosh, he sure is perfect!!

Gosh, I love that boy!!  Thank you, Heavenly Father, for sending me such an amazing, perfect blessing.  If if be thy will, someday I would love to give him a brother.  If not, thanks for letting me be his mommy!!                                               

2 comments:

  1. You are a better woman than I. I think I would be heartbroken to only have one, though I do love him dearly. He is the sweetest little boy who is "painting" the cpu with an unused sponge brush as I speak. I can learn a lot from you Brander Bean. I hope to be as good a woman as you someday but for now I share in your pain a little as I am 10 months into trying to get pregnant again. I hope neither of us has to wait much longer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Access to casino games freely.

    IBCbet As a way to overcome the game of computer network gambling, because GCLUB 69 online casinos have accumulated the recipe and special tips by the experts to play casino games online have gathered. Online gamblers have access to a number of websites. Not less than 2000 entries per day.
    Because of the system of services that everyone can gamble to gamble from all areas, whether the gambling in any of the schemes that will make the risk. Have fun and prosper with the game of gambling, which allows gamblers to bet a lot. And most importantly, we have chosen for the player to bet on all the games that have a universal rule, so the gambler to bet on and fully satisfied with the service that the gambler chose to join the fun. I will not be disappointed.
    Do not wait for the exotic online gambling, waiting for everyone to come in contact with your own. We have a team of 24-hour staff at the site. Ruby888

    ReplyDelete