I have taken a break from posting on this blog because I had thought, "Well, I got pregnant and now I have a darling, sweet, perfect little boy, what right do I have to post on my infertility blog?" And the truth is, it never ends. Please, don't get me wrong. I love my Bug so incredibly much and I absolutely do not take a single moment with him for granted! I hold him and love on him and cuddle him and play with him. This is NOT a pity party. This is me expressing my thoughts. I cannot believe he is 13 months old! Where did the time go?
But in reality, inferility is peaking its ugly little head. We are not/have not prevented pregnancy. I have thought about having a second child since Bug was born. I am constantly worrying about having another child. I am constantly driving myself crazy about getting pregnant again. I am almost 30 years old. I was supposed to be done having children by the time I was 35. It is crazy, emotional. It never stops. There is no, "I changed my mind. I chicken out of this roller coaster, I want off" place. Here we are. Here I am, standing on the precipice of craziness.